Saturday, February 2, 2008

Outta my heart n my head

How do I start? where do i start... thinking bout a lot... too many things... doing a lot of planning.... making room, even when there is no room... where is everything heading to? this is what i keep asking myself... soaking myself into my music, as this is the only place i find peace... music is my life, music is my soul... it seems to lift my spirit no matter how low it goes.... i imagine sometimes, who will i be if there was no music in this life?

a lot has been happenin wit me n ppl around me, and also ppl far away from me... sometimes, i want to talk to, but one of the ppl i think i can talk to, isn't accessible and we get to fight like all d time. dunno how this started.. this was someone i could always confide in about everything, but now it's like person is not there anymore... like d person is looking for some sort of reason to keep a distance or something...

another thing is the people whom the devil want to use against my life.. people who want to see me fail... and i'm glad that they are no more in hiding and they've shown their stupid faces... ppl who want to pull down the pace at which my life should be moving...

my family... i cry anytime i think about how much i miss them... my lovely mum, d best dad in the world, d perfect sister and d sweetest younger brother i could ever wish for... i wish i dnt av to dry my eyes every now and then cos of how much i miss them.... i need them around me at times like dis, judging by what i'm going through now... the stress and the emotional stress...

i wish i could pour out everything here, but i can't cos it's gonna make things more crazy.. anyway, i also av my fun times.... like when i went to pretoria to see a friend of mine, every moment of it was fun.... although there wasn't much activity or activities but it was fun being in a new environment and being around a lot of new ppl...

School, shud start by the 25th of Feb.... am so not prepared for this now... bt do i av a choice.. i came here to talk about something i have to deal with everyday but i still can't... i will probably get d courage to do so next time.....


I miss you MUM.....

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awwwww sorry.

Just write it all out on a piece of paper...good way to feel lighter.

And i must encourage you to speak to God, He's the only constant person and He never fails.Speak to Him like you would speak to a good friend.

Take it easy, and have a blessed month!

ImaNueL said...

@anonymous - dunno who u are.. bt tanx for d advice.. i do try my best to speak to HIM bt sumtimes i feel he doesn't hear me. I dnt knw who u are bt it's like u knw i right out my tots n wot i feel out on paper. Thanks for coming bye and droping a gud advice

Anonymous said...

Interesting to know.